A group of eminent Indian thinkers and scientists led by Gulshan Narimanpointwalla assembled secretly in a Trombay toyshop to form the Bhartiya rail bhaichara or the Great Indian Railways Brotherhood. Many of them were ex-employees and philanthropists. They pondered and researched as to how should the future of the railway system in India look like. Their suggestions and actions led to the formation of the great enterprise called the Indian Railways in 1951. My recent experience and research finds the mango person complaining about the railways to be big fool since he fails to see that Mister Narimanpointwalla and his group formulated some excellent strategies which later became the selling point for the Railways for Indians and foreigners alike.
The USPs of the Indian Railways:
1. The train never gives you a smooth ride and is blatantly candid about it. But it moves and it shakes; the vibrations massage and soothe each and every muscle of your body. The train dances along its way home.
2. The train gives refuge to hundreds of endangered species of mosquitoes and cockroaches. The unfortunate interests of Western companies ( BAYER (BAYGON/ HIT) et al) and establishments might lead to the disappearance to such a common and precious species. This might appeal to the PETA- subscribing, green-conscious new generation Indian, a fast growing breed, which is really concerned about the country.
3. The walls are rusty and have cracks all over them. This combined with a paan spit provides a much needed artistic relief from the monotonous pimple-free walls of the railways in the Western countries.
4. Most of the passengers travel for free. For a free ride, you just need conviction, a butt and an annoying face
5. The trains never arrive on time. The arrival delay in hours varies from two to infinity. It boils each differential volume of your blood and you need to devise brand-new anger management strategies to control yourself. Yeaaa, I just made a new anger-management technique!
6. You generally meet a bunch of worthless losers who sit beside you as co-passengers. Most of them have done nothing in their lives and are going back to their home somewhere in UP. Therefore, you are inflated with a sense of pride for being superior than at least five human beings in the world.
7. You also get to hear the shrillest possible cry of a baby located three compartments ahead of you, his hooter drilling into your ears. But since you are too flushed to be annoyed, you layer the baby-cry track and imagine to mix it with an unknown track from a Serbian nightclub you recently discovered from an obscure Polish music download site. Again, the Indian railways planned to awaken the DJ within you.
8. If you are lucky enough, you might get kissed on your cheek by a eunuch for the first time in your life.
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The USPs of the Indian Railways:
1. The train never gives you a smooth ride and is blatantly candid about it. But it moves and it shakes; the vibrations massage and soothe each and every muscle of your body. The train dances along its way home.
2. The train gives refuge to hundreds of endangered species of mosquitoes and cockroaches. The unfortunate interests of Western companies ( BAYER (BAYGON/ HIT) et al) and establishments might lead to the disappearance to such a common and precious species. This might appeal to the PETA- subscribing, green-conscious new generation Indian, a fast growing breed, which is really concerned about the country.
3. The walls are rusty and have cracks all over them. This combined with a paan spit provides a much needed artistic relief from the monotonous pimple-free walls of the railways in the Western countries.
4. Most of the passengers travel for free. For a free ride, you just need conviction, a butt and an annoying face
5. The trains never arrive on time. The arrival delay in hours varies from two to infinity. It boils each differential volume of your blood and you need to devise brand-new anger management strategies to control yourself. Yeaaa, I just made a new anger-management technique!
6. You generally meet a bunch of worthless losers who sit beside you as co-passengers. Most of them have done nothing in their lives and are going back to their home somewhere in UP. Therefore, you are inflated with a sense of pride for being superior than at least five human beings in the world.
7. You also get to hear the shrillest possible cry of a baby located three compartments ahead of you, his hooter drilling into your ears. But since you are too flushed to be annoyed, you layer the baby-cry track and imagine to mix it with an unknown track from a Serbian nightclub you recently discovered from an obscure Polish music download site. Again, the Indian railways planned to awaken the DJ within you.
8. If you are lucky enough, you might get kissed on your cheek by a eunuch for the first time in your life.
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